Toe MonstersCheddar Gorge · specimen files

Warning · vegan · with exactly one exception

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Specimen file · No. 08 of 22

McDwayne

The vegan comic who likes a laugh

  • Ginger, silver beard
  • Born performer
  • Habitat: classified
  • Six scores
McDwayne, the vegan comic who likes a laugh
Specimen No. 08 · photographed at a safe distance
No. 08Top scores

The Monster Meter

Six scores out of ten. We measured very carefully and only had to run away twice.

  • Size8/10
  • Friendliness7/10
  • Appetite6/10
  • Cleverness9/10
  • Sneakiness6/10
  • Quirkiness10/10

Note: yes, quirkiness really is 10 out of 10. We checked twice and stood well back.

The dossier

Appearance: McDwayne is a charismatic Toe Monster with vibrant ginger fur and a distinguished silver beard. His lively appearance matches his energetic personality, making him one of the most entertaining members of the Toe Monster community.

Personality: McDwayne is a natural performer, with a love for singing, telling jokes, and acting. His stage presence is unmatched, and he’s always ready to put on a show. Interestingly, McDwayne is also a vegan, avoiding meat and dairy products – except, of course, for his one weakness: children’s toes.

Cave Life: McDwayne’s cave is a theatrical wonderland. At its heart is a stage where he performs his songs, comedy routines, and dramatic acts. The stage is equipped with lights and props, creating a professional performance space.

When he’s not entertaining, McDwayne enjoys knitting and crocheting. His cave is adorned with his handmade creations, adding a cosy and colourful touch to his performance space. Yarn and knitting needles are scattered around, showcasing his artistic talents beyond the stage.

Fun Fact: Despite his Toe Monster nature, McDwayne’s vegan lifestyle sets him apart. His dedication to veganism is so strong that he gives captured children a chance to escape. If they can tell him a joke that makes him laugh, he sets them free, proving that humour can indeed save the day.

Warning: Children, if you hear singing or laughter coming from a cave, it’s likely McDwayne putting on a show. While his performances are captivating, remember that he’s still a Toe Monster. Brush up on your best jokes just in case you find yourself in his audience – it might just be your ticket to freedom!

Habitat survey

Inside McDwayne’s cave

Somewhere in Cheddar Gorge — the exact spot is a secret, and the cave has an inconvenient habit of not being where it was — this is home.

Inside McDwayne’s cave in Cheddar Gorge
McDwayne at home. The show starts whether you like it or not.

Other specimens on file

Twenty-one more are on file, each with their own six scores and a full dossier. Read them all — carefully, and from a distance.

See all twenty-two monsters